Mera lund uski gand me ghsne ko bekarar tha. Mere hath uske boobs ko masal rahe the. Uske muh se “arun………arunnnnnnnnnnn.” Ki sitkar nikal rahi thi uske haath mere balo ko sahela rahe the. Maine uska top upper karke mere hath ander dal ker uske pet per ghuma raha tha ek ungli uski nabhi me daal di uske muh se aaaaaaaaahhh nikal gayi. Maine uske jeans ka button khol dala then zip khol ker mera hath uski panty me daal ker uski chut sahelane laga jo pahele se hi gili thi. Is dauran mere aur uske hoth mil gaye the main uske ras bhare hotho ko chus raha tha. Uski chut me maine apni ungli per ras ka bahav mahesus kiya. Wo jhad rahi thi. Maine uska top nikal diya. Phir usko maine bed per patak diya. Phir maine uski jeans nikal di. Wo has rahi thi. Wo ab sirf bra aur panty main thi. Wo boli “arun aaj muje kali se phul bana do ladki se aurat bana do.” Maine kaha ‘meri rani aaj main tumhe apna bana lunga aaj ke bad tum mera hi naam logi.” Main uske upper aa gaya usne mera t shirt nikal diya ab. I was torn between wanting to bed themand wanting to be them. I was never sure which thought was reallydriving my attraction. However, I knew that I wanted to be like them inalmost every way.That's not permitted though. I had to fight those thoughts I was toldindirectly at every possible turn. They were unnatural. Masculinity is agift, the feminine were not our equals and thus not something we couldemulate. They could be like us, but we couldn't be like them.If you let your feminine side out, you are a queer. The world looks atyou that way. I fought it. I over compensated. I walked like John Wayne,I spit, I cursed like a trucker, and I watched sports. Societal scornbreeds denial. Denial breeds self-repression. I became more masculine inmy behavior, but it was a cheap imitation of masculinity. I was neverreally that which I hated.I hated my maleness and hated others. It kept me from the femininity Iknew I needed and belonged with.Now, that repressive side was submerged by my mental.
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